Sanctuary 05.04.10

If you want to shrink something,
you must first allow it to expand.
If you want to get rid of something,
you must first allow it to flourish.
If you want to take something
you must first allow it to be given.
This is called the subtle perception
of the way things are.

The soft overcomes the hard.
The slow overcomes the fast.
Let your workings remain a mystery.
Just show people the results.

Tao te Ching – Chapter 36

On the left hand corner of the modest beach in Haad Thien, on the south-eastern corner of Koh Phangnan there is a cozy little spa nestled into the age-softened boulders and coconut palms. It is chocolate-brown with a thatched roof and its rooms are open to the sea and sky. At first it seems a perfect idyll. From the various levels of the cool restaurant/bar one looks out into a lovely horseshoe bay with steep headlands of charcoal-grey rock. The trees are full of the electrical, buzzing whitenoise burr of cicadas and sharp, sometimes screechy, sometimes melodic birdsong. Occasionally you hear the moop-moop of macaques that forage invisibly in the treetops. There are many kinds of tall trees and the gardens are dense with flowers – hibiscus, amaryllis and many species I can’t name. The beach slopes comfortably to the sapphire sea as benign rollers crush themselves on the shore with a steady, soothing rhythm. The beach is mostly made of crumbly coral fragments; twigs and chunks of white coral bits – walking on it feels like it would if you walked on Lucky Charms cereal ( a LOT of the cereal). You can mould the coral duff nicely to make a meditation cushion for a bit of silent contemplation of the perfect view. The air is deliciously warm with a nice feathery breeze wafting in. Perfect. Eden.

I am reminded from time to time that my blogging has swung often to the critical side of my experience. Mea culpa. I suppose that, like the evening news, the notable, uncomfortable, remarkable things in life get the most attention. So, in an attempt at balance I will state that Thailand is simply beautiful. This won’t come as a surprise to most. But its geography and climate, its natural endowment of heart-tugging beauty and the incredible work of its people especially notable in its religious and state buildings and artistry are profoundly moving to experience. The weather has been excellent – usually a hot but not torrid 25 – 30 C and though a bit of rain might have been nice (I would love to see Bangkok during monsoon – makes me throb just to imagine it) who can complain about such perfect conditions? (besides me of course).

Sure there have been a few nasty moments along the road but that’s just pepper for the dish right? Gotta have spice to accentuate the sweet. We have met some kind and gentle souls along the way. Travel makes many people more open and sharing – of experience, consideration and advice.

In The Sanctuary, a place that offers yoga, meditation, cleanse-diets, even colonic irrigation for Pete’s sake, I anticipated a sort of Erewhon experience of good nature, openness, you know, granola gentility. Instead, from the moment we made landfall I have detected a palpable chill from the clients. Almost everyone averts the gaze as if we are all spectres sharing the same space but not the same time. It’s almost a shock I feel as the ‘cut direct’ is repeated wherever we go. (the management, a lovely German couple with a sweet, earthy little girl, are very nice). In Eden, it seems, the serpent has started to whisper. We start to theorize about this. There is negative energy here – the vibe is wrong. For one thing the layout is weird, the paths aren’t intuitively laid out and one keeps finding oneself turned around or in the wrong place. The bungalows don’t relate well to each other – they’re sort of higgledy-piggledy and face in the wrong directions. Could that be it or is it just strange chemistry. The world shows up as a mirror, perhaps we have arrived with the wrong energy. In any case, after a few days nothing changes, so it’s time to move on.

There were some nice moments at Haad Thien. We walked up to some bungalows managed by a gentle fellow. He had a tiny monkey that fastened himself to Sophie, wanting nothing at all to do with me. The owner said he only likes women. He protested with screams when he was finally pried off Sophie’s shoulder. There was a beautiful, tame hornbill that perched calmly atop structures nearby, one of the residents tossed fruit up maybe 20 feet to the bird which elegantly caught it in its long, narrow bill – a lovely ballet of sympathetic action. I created a few illustrations in coral on the beach. I am a bit starved for creative expression. The photography experience, or photo-ops as Soph calls them, is nice but I really miss my guitar and playing with friends. Live music is altogether missing here except for a strange night of Thai Blues back in Chiang Mai.

Back by Longtail to Haad Rin, the scene of Bacchanalia under the full moon, back up the serpentine coastal highway to Thong Sala in search of something that fits the soul. We don’t have a destination, just a desire for a better groove. In the taxi we meet Aly, a British woman who has spent the last three months in Haad Thien getting her yoga certification. She says that she got the same feeling about The Sanctuary; never felt comfortable there. There were a group of nice people who left, like monarch butterflies. for Bali a few days earlier and the spirit of the place sort of soured after that. So our sentiments are confirmed but not explained. She recommends a beach on the northeast corner called Haad Mae Haad - thither we go.

The beach is more generous there. Talcum powder soft. There is a coral reef that is easily accessed by a narrow isthmus that connects the village to a tiny island, Ko Mah, just 300 metres or so offshore. We splurge($30/day) on a beachfront bungalow and immediately connect with a couple who have rented the next cabin. Laughter and interesting stories form the soundtrack of a shared dinner at a delicious little eatery nearby.

So it goes. It is so difficult to know if it’s one’s personal energy or the invisible working of the Tao that flows effortlessly or not at all with an infinite array of influences. Both are one.

I am finally, after many weeks of trying, able to connect with my mom on Skype. I’ve missed her daily phone calls mightily since I left Toronto and I suspect she feels the same. Balance, loving sentiments and ease are restored. Hi mom.